Thursday, May 7, 2015

PukeFest at the Zoo

If you have ever wondered what a stomach bug looks like in a large family, wonder no more! I'm not sure if it is the fact I was a pediatric nurse for 7 years (you were lucky if you got through a shift without some kind vomit escapade) or you just have to find humor in the disgusting our you'll cry. The last few days we had the delightful plague of the stomach bug at our house which we refer to as PukeFest. I've decided, for your entertainment, to share with you the less gory details of how a PukeFest plays out at the zoo. I'm going to give you a run down of how each one of the people in my family is unique....in how they puke. If you have ever had a sick kid or been around someone who is sick you find out that everyone pukes a little differently.

Clay- (he seems to have come out unscathed during this pukefest) Clay yells, like really yells. I asked him once why in the world he was so loud and he said he feels like if he yells while he pukes it will come out faster and therefore end sooner. I'm not sure if that is true, but everyone knows if he isn't feeling well.

Me-I'm sure I am the perfect puker =) Although, last night Jude had made his way into my room right as I felt the urge to purge. He took one look at what was happening and ran...faster than I've ever seen him run! Imagine the torture of puking, but also having the urge to laugh thinking about the thoughts running through my 3 year olds brain.

Cole-When Cole pukes picture the exorcist. While spewing he is yelling things like, "WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME?!?" "MAKE IT STOP!" "WHY IS THIS HAPPENING." It's super hard not to crack up at all this drama.

Cooper-envision a roaming dog. He gets on all fours, circles the area he's puking in and leaves his mark. Really not the most effective way of puking and trying to catch the moving puker to have him puke in a bowl is also pretty comical to watch.

Bailey Kate- Ironically BK is our best puker, gets up, pukes in the toilet (very quietly I might add), flushes the toilet and goes back to bed. She's SUPER needy in almost every other way, but she's a champ at puking.

Jude- I'm not sure if Jude's method of puking is because he is the 4th or it's just his technique. Jude usually sits up in bed, pukes somewhere on his bed then lays back down and goes back to sleep. I find this VERY disgusting and VERY convenient. Disgusting because cleaning up fresh puke is bad enough, dried puke is even worse, but let's be real, he didn't wake me up and I got a full night sleep.  During this last puke fest though he walked into my room to tell me he was going to puke and puked right in the doorway. As I said before,w I had the stomach bug too so I as not about to get up and clean that mess up. Clay was downstairs sleeping on the couch. He would have gladly helped, but he is a DEEP sleeper and the thought of walking downstairs to wake him up seemed like entirely too much work. So, what did I do, just cover it with a towel, tell everyone to jump over it like an obstacle course and I'd clean it up later. Disgusting yes, survival at its finest!
Rose- we'll see, currently she just opens her mouth and lets the goodness flow.

I'm sure you now feel like you have a better understanding of how this zoo works and you are also, now, feeling a little queasy yourself. You're Welcome!

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