For those of you who think I have it all together

So, occasionally people will tell me they think I'm amazing, or super mom or have super powers. I'll be honest this makes me kind of anxious because it couldn't be farther from the truth. Having people put me on a pedastool makes me really nervous because the pain associated with falling off the pedastool when I disappoint said people is no fun....so, to avoid this pain altogether I'm going to give you a few examples of why I am most definitely NOT super mom!

• Today at Crossfit I couldn't figure out why Rose was screaming throughout the WOD. She is usually happy to sit in her car seat and observe, but not today. After I finished I picked her up thinking she was just hungry, but no....she, and her car seat, were covered in sh*t! I,  dripping with sweat, picked her up and took her to the car to get her cleaned up (all while my 4 year old was roaming freely around the gym, with no shoes). Of course I couldn't find any wipes so I did what any normal person would do and took her to the bathroom, washed her in the sink and dried her with paper towels (sorry Bobby). Most normal people would head home and clean the car seat and such, not me!!! I put a paper towel in the car seat and headed to target! 
• My 4 year old loses his shoes on the daily. I don't mean at home, I mean like drops them in random places never to be seen again. Most moms would make sure he had shoes when leaving places, but somehow this slips through the cracks most days. Instead of heading home and getting more shoes I've given up and he just goes barefoot. So, when you see him out with nasty jiffy feet you'll know why!
• I feed my children chemical filled, processed Ramen noodle soup at least once a week...and they LOVE it!
• I've given up on dressing my kids. I used to dress the boys in adorable matching gymboree outfits almost everyday when they were younger (thank you Nina). Now I'm happy if everyone has underwear on! For example, Jude's favorite outfit these days is blue and orange checkered pants with a red and blue striped shirt....totally on point!
• I fully intended on having the kids have Bible time and a separate reading time at least 4 days a week this summer....we've done that ONCE, I repeat ONCE this WHOLE summer.
• We paid a sweet, unassuming young man to detail our car this week. It took him ELEVEN hours!!!! It doesn't take that long to clean my house!!! Poor thing had no idea my children concoct disgusting creations and dump them in every crevice they can find. 
• If I take my children grocery shopping half of the food is opened because I'm trying to keep children quiet. It's a fun game for the cashier to see if she can find which bags will spill everywhere and which ones won't.
• I have a  house cleaner that comes every other week (God bless her!!!).
• Jude peed in the bed the other night. Instead of sweetly changing his pj's and remaking his bed I stripped him down, threw dry pj's at him and threw a blanket on the floor and said goodnight.  I was just happy I remembered to wash the sheets the next morning.
• My 4 year old was bellowing for me the other day and called me "mom butt face," very sweetly of course!
• I LOVE dumb reality tv and am HORRIBLE at making myself read. 
• I LOVE babies and HATE teenagers...this is going to present a problem very soon!
• I love wine, coffee and bedtime.

I could go on and on, but I'll spare you all. I hope this makes anyone who feels like they are failing at this mom thing feel a little bit better. I will say in the short, almost 8 years I've been doing this, I have learned to not sweat the small stuff. Some days are easier than others, but it makes my days more enjoyable if I can sit back, take a deep breath (or 20) and laugh. I mean seriously, if I've kept them alive for another day I feel like I've accomplished a goal for the day! Just remember, this isn't a competition, we are all doing the best we can and wine, their is always wine!

Teaching My Children To Fail

So, I know this title may sound weird, especially coming from a mom who should want her kids to have the best and not feel pain or sadness, but lately I've been thinking a lot about this. The idea that I want my children to be "good" at failing. You may be asking, "what does that even mean?!" Well, this is what it means to me...

It actually means a couple of things to me. First, I think in todays day in age we work a little too hard at making everyone a "winner." Like I said before, this is hard as a mom, but I don't want my kids to always win. If they are "winners" regardless of their effort what is the point. I have 5 children, they are all VERY different which means some are better at things than others. For example, Cole tends to be more athletic than Cooper. It's no secret to either boy that Cole is more athletic than Cooper, but instead of either not making a big deal about Cole's accomplishments athletically so we don't hurt Cooper's feelings, or trying to make everything "fair" (which means Cole doesn't do his best) so everyone is happy, we have chosen to talk about it. We noticed that Cooper would evaluate if he could win, or be the best, at the activity we were doing and if he felt like he couldn't he wouldn't even try. I get this, I do this! I don't want him to live that way though. I want him to try, I want him to work, and I want him to fail so that he will learn that it's OK! We want to teach our kids that we are not all good at everything.  This doesn't mean that we don't work super hard to be the best we can be at what we set our mind to, but it DOES mean, even if we didn't win or we weren't the best we cheer on those who did win or who are the best. This is life. It's been interesting to watch, recently I heard the boys chatting in the backseat. Coop told cole, "you are better at karate than me, but I'm better at spelling. That's ok! I'll help you spell better and you can show me some karate moves." My heart seriously melted!!! That's what I have prayed for, see the benefit of having someone "be" better than you, you don't have to be unkind or jealous to make yourself feel better, you can encourage and learn from them! I hope this teaches them that when they are adults they MUST work hard to get what they want, but they must also be kind and gracious. I want my kids to be each others (and others) biggest cheer leaders. I know some people say this could make them push overs, but I think it is the opposite, I think it will make them amazing leaders.

This leads to my second reason I want my kids to be good at failing. Being raised in a large family without a lot of discretionary income we learned really early that just because one of us got something doesn't mean the other was going to. My parents took it to another level, we not only didn't get what the other person got every time, but we needed to be happy about that! I think this comes easier to some than others. I so appreciate my parents instilling this and TRAINING us in this idea. I'm pretty sure my mom would let one of us get a "treat" and not the others to train us in how to respond correctly. She would say "guys, we are going to rejoice with those who rejoice." I didn't understand when I was younger what this meant, but I do now! This is hard for me because many times one child will get something at the store or as a gift and it's just easier to say "ok, whatever" then it is to say, "no,  today Jude is going to get something and not you and we are going to be happy for them," and deal with the subsequent tantrum. We are practicing this a lot lately (feel free to stare if you see me with a screaming child in target). I want my kids to learn that this world does NOT revolve around them. This means if Jude gets something, you work really hard at being happy for him. You're time will come, you lack for nothing, you will learn to be happy for others and not immediately think "when is it my turn?" I think this will serve them well in relationships as adults. I hope as they grow and as we "practice" this, my little humans will grow into the kind of people that love and encourage well, are grateful for what they have and not always looking at what others have and want it, or walk around with a scowl on their face thinking about how "life isn't fair." They'll know that, yup, life isn't fair and that's ok!!!

Celebrating "just" Jude at his disco dance party...that's a whole other blog post!!!!