Thanksgiving 2014 redneck style

This year for Thanksgiving we, along with my side of the family, decided to go camping. Now, if you know us at all you know we are always up for some adventure. The beauty of being 1 of 5 kids and your best friend's family (who we "vacationed" with often) being 1 of 9, not a whole lot scares you. Yes,  the idea of all the laundry, packing and the fact it would be freezing was a little intimidating, but we've decided to never let that stop the memory making! Well, this year was quite the experience.

If you know my husband at all you know he loves the extreme. If you're going to do something you may as well do it big! A few weeks ago he told me his jujitsu instructor had been raising turkeys and he wanted to get one, slaughter it (by himself) and eat it for Thanksgiving dinner. I'll be honest, when I first heard the idea I thought he was clinically insane, but 11 years of marriage to this man has taught me to never underestimate what he can do if he puts his mind to it. Well, we did it (actually he did it, I went NOWHERE near the bird till we ate him.)

We've tried to teach our kids that we are super blessed to be able to go to the store and buy our food already "prepared," but they know our meat was once a living thing. Because Clay and his dad love to hunt and we do a good bit of fishing the kids have been exposed to what food looks like before it is prepared. We also talk a lot about the importance of appreciating the fact that an animal gave his life so we can eat so we NEVER kill or hurt things just for fun, their always has to be a purpose.....and this year "Phil's" purpose was Thanksgiving dinner.

So, I was a little worried the kids would be scarred, because, like I said, if Clay does something he does it big. He brought the turkey to the campsite ALIVE!! The kids all greeted him when he arrived and I cringed....nothing like naming and befriending something that will be beheaded the next morning. Well, everyone woke early (it was FREEZING so no one slept much) and I look over to see Clay, my brothers and ALL of my children trapsing into the forest with Phil. I told my dad "go get Bailey Kate, I think this may scar her." Dad brings her back to me and she is crying. I said "Oh sweetie, are sad daddy is going to kill Phil?" to which she tearfully replied, "NO! I want to go help." Seriously, this girl is a paradox. She could not be more girly and yet LOVE adventure and dirt and the outdoors more! SO, I let her go into the woods and watch.

Like I said, I went nowhere near the bird. I heard Phil went pretty easily and quickly (with a little blood splatter) and a few minutes later everyone came back to the campsite to clean and gut Phil so we could get cooking. Mind you, no one was crying or upset, they were ready to get to work (I'll admit, I was a little grossed out). Though Clay will try anything, he is always well educated in the task at hand. He spent a lot of time learning how to kill, pluck, gut and prepare a turkey and he did a great job. The kids were all about helping and getting their hands dirty. As Clay was cleaning the turkey the "camp host" informed us that we couldn't use the turkey fryer on the grounds ANYWHERE. That meant taking Phil to the dollar general parking lot a mile down the road to fry him up. Doesn't get more redneck than that in my book! My dad, clay and Adam also shot a compound bow and the adjacent lot while they waited. It was quite a sight!

All the ladies prepared the rest of the meal (my mom did a great job at food prep before so it was a breeze). We all sat down at our picnic table and enjoyed the bounty of our labor. Phil was quite delicious! This Thanksgiving didn't look like the average day for most, but it was perfect for our crazy fam! This year was quite the super fun, freezing, dirty, bloody, tasty, relaxing, adventerous Thanksgiving. I'm so blessed with a beautiful family (on both sides!), a sweet baby on the way, healthy children, more than I could ever need or want and a husband who not only leads this crazy zoo with love and patience, but does it in a way that makes lifelong memories! HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!!!

                                                                     Getting ready....

The deed has been done...

BK did not leave Clay's side the entire time! 

The finished product!

Frying in the parking lot!

Mashing potatoes old school style!

Uncle Trey snuggles.

Time to EAT!!!!

Nothing better than s'mores by the fire on a cold night.

A letter to my boys on their baptism day!

Cole,

  Today you are being baptized, proclaiming your inward change through an outward expression of your response to Your heavenly fathers call on your life. I am so proud of you. My firstborn son. What a mighty plan God has for your life. When we found out we were expecting baby number 5 you said, "wow, I'm going to be the oldest of 5 kids!" Though it was so cute, the weight of that statement hit me, and one day I hope you recognize the weight of it. You were chosen as the leader of this little clan. Your siblings look up to you, they follow you, they love you deeply. I pray that your tender heart continues to grow in love and compassion for your siblings and all those around you. I pray you become a mighty warrior for this kingdom you have chosen to join. I pray you would lead with a servant leadership that leaves a mark, even if it is painful. I don't pray for an easy pain free life for you (as much as I would want it), I pray for a full, meaningful, God-fearing, world changing life. As I watch you take this step with your brother, my heart is exploding....you have made me so proud, but more than me, your Father in heaven is so proud, not because of ANYTHING you have done, but because he has loved you before the foundations of the world and chosen you to be his child. I pray you do not stray, but walk mightily with him all your days. I love you my sweet boy. Love, mama

Cooper,
My miracle boy. What a picture you are of God's story of redemption. You were left by those who should have loved you and cared for you most. You were rejected. By nothing you did God plucked you from the mire, he saw you before you were even born and had a mighty vision for your little life. To this world, you looked broken; you looked weak, but your Heavenly Father saw a mighty warrior for his kingdom. He CHOSE you to be in our family just as he chose you to be in HIS family. NEVER be ashamed of your story. You are the perfect picture of every one of us; chosen, by nothing we have done, to serve our king. As you make this outward expression of this inward change stand firm in the calling God has on your life. You are so smart, you know you have a voice and are not afraid to use it, you love deeply and are fiercely loyal. The other day someone in the neighborhood was being bullied. You came in with tears in your eyes and told me what was happening and came to me for help to protect the "weak." Never lose this! Always fight for the weak, always have a compassionate heart for those in need and never turn away from someone in need. God has written your amazing story, I pray you never stray from Him, but walk with him always. Do not ever lean on your own understanding (because you are so smart you may try), but always lean on your Heavenly Father. I love you more than you will ever know, my sweet boy. Do not choose what is easy, but choose what God has called you to...no matter the consequence. I am so proud of you and can't wait to see the rest of God's plan for your amazing life. I love you to the moon and back!

Over It!!!!

So, this post may get me in some trouble, but, I don't really care....

I love Facebook, Instagram and social media in general as much as the next person, but lately as I scroll through my feed I often scroll past numerous "articles" people have posted with their two sense attached. For a while I would read some of these, or just scan them to get the general idea. Lately, for my own sanity, I scroll right past.  Let me explain. In the past few months, if some random person were to scroll through my feed they would probably infer I'm friends with a bunch of judgmental, opinionated, rude people. If I applied just SOME of the articles that have popped up on my feed I should assume that

• Because Clay and I have chosen to vaccinate our children (for many reasons, none of which is your damn business....take a breath, yes I cussed and feel free to attach a post as to why I am harming myself by choosing to.) we are putting chopped up baby parts in our children and are therefore condoning abortion. 
• Inversely, because some of my closest friends have made the choice not to vaccinate their children if I let their kids play with mine we will all contract small pox and die.
• Because I was raised in a Christian home with my dad as the head of our household and we even were a part of a homeschool group (yes, the one the duggars have ascribed to! Take another breath!),  Though we didn't stay for a long time, as a result, I was mentally abused, led astray and should basically "throw the baby out with the bath water" and abandon all I believe and was taught. ( Don't get me wrong it definitely had/has many flaws, but also had some solid teachings and helped form me into the person I am today.)
• Because we choose to homeschool we are setting our children up for failure. They will definitely grow up to be under-socialized nerds who are devoid of personality and life experience.
• Inversely, if I choose to ever put my children in school they will forever be corrupted by the common core.
• Because Clay and I believe in Jesus and believe the Bible is inherent truth, we believe that Clay is the head of this family. We have chosen, though I was a great nurse and had a very successful career and worked for years WHILE I had children (because I'm sure their is an article about if a woman chooses to pursue her career before or while having children she is clearly failing at her job as a woman) in this season of my life, I will stay home with my children and educate them. Because of this choice I am now a diluted, oppressed, male dominated and controlled woman. If ANY of you know me, you know this couldn't be any farther from the truth (Bless Clay's heart!)
•  Because Clay and I have chosen to have a large family we are contributing to overpopulation and we are single handedly contributing to the end of the world.
• Because Clay and I don't feel called to "have as many kids as God will give us" we little faith and will let the other "religions" of the world take over. 

Seriously, I could go on and on. When did we become such a close minded, opinionated, judgmental group of people?! (We probably always have been, it's just easier behind the safety of our screens.) What happened to "So far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all." Don't get me wrong, I'm all for fighting for what I believe. I'm all for standing up for injustice and those who can not speak for themselves. If you KNOW me and live life with me you know that I am a passionate person and will fight for what I think is right. But let's be honest...I have NEVER read an overgeneralized, judgmental, condemning article (even if I agreed with some of it) and said, "you know what, this is so right. Everything I have EVER believed is false, I'm going to completely adopt this way of thinking and throw away every part of what has made me who I am today and become this!" NO!!! If anything I want to do the exact opposite if it's presented in this way. If you feel strongly about an issue, give me a call, lets grab some coffee, your kids can run wild with mine and we can hash things out. At the end I may say, "you know what, what you have said has some valid points and I'm really going to have to process this." Or, I may say, "you know what, let's agree to disagree, this was great. I love hearing other opinions, let's do it again next week." 

Though I love social media, I think it can be dangerous. We think that, as we sit in the comfort of our home or fancy coffee shop, we can read a few article, become an expert of all things, double click a few times, repost, give our two sense and feel like we've just made a difference. I would grossly disagree.....I think you probably just ostracized a large group of people, made yourself unapproachable and probably just pissed off a bunch of people (probably what I'm doing now). WE assume everyone is coming from the same place, but really, you don't know what I have walked through, you don't know why I have made the choices I have made and honestly, when I'm standing at the gates of heaven I'm pretty sure God is not going to say "well done my good and faithful servant, you reposted some articles on Facebook and made some lasting change for my Kingdom." Um, I'm thinking NO! Once again, I'm not saying don't be passionate about what you believe, but maybe, just maybe, take a second before you re-post something and think, "how could this be perceived? What is my intention in posting this? Am I really going to do any good spreading "my" message this way." 

I understand I'm probably opening myself up for a lashing and I could definitely be perceived as being judgmental even writing this post, but I feel like it needs to be said. When I open my newsfeed wanting to see pictures of my friends, or funny comments and end up closing my feed feeling beaten up, judged, like I'm failing at life in general, I'm pretty sure it may be time to do a little "cleaning out."

It's all too much!

 So, the last few weeks I’ve been hit with a few situations where some moms I know have really been struggling…really struggling. Struggling with the load of being a mom, struggling with having to look like they are keeping it all together, struggling with the thought that this may not be what they want, but not feeling comfortable telling someone until they are completely broken to the point that they don’t care anymore. As I hear about these things my heart breaks and then I question, “why is this happening, where are all the people around her that should recognize she is breaking?” 

As I have thought and prayed about these things a few things have really stuck out. DISCLAIMER-I know and totally agree that my walk with the Lord is paramount to keeping me from this breaking point, but sometimes my walk with the Lord is not where it needs to be and I start to falter. As I have thought about this and decided to blog about it, know that in all of this I know that this is the foundation, but I also think a few other things factor in. So, I want to encourage everyone, not just moms or women with a few thoughts. 

One, Social media….SO MUCH SOCIAL MEDIA! Don’t get me wrong I love it. I love being able to post about my life, I love to be able to see other people and how they live and what is going on in their lives, but if you are like me, when I look at all the facebook or instagram posts, in my subconscious I think, “obviously, their house is spotless, their kids are playing peacefully together dressed in perfectly matched clothes and a pinterest dinner is simmering on the stove.” Now, if anyone lives a life like mine the reality is my house is a wreck, if I can even find all of my children they are bickering or “playing” together making a HUGE mess and I’m trying to figure out if the random hodge podge of food in my fridge will make any kind of edible meal. Let’s be real, social media is not reality, but in moments of weakness and self doubt, when I scroll through my news feed I’m sure that I’m failing at this and just about any of my 500 “friends” are doing this much better than me. 

Next, I am a people pleaser. I want everyone to like me, I want everyone to think I have it totally together and that I NEVER need help. The last few years, by God’s grace, I have learned the suffocating pressure of this and worked hard to “be real” with those around me. It may mean I look a little crazy (let’s be honest, this is most days!) It means some days I workout at 7am and don’t get a chance to take a shower till way later, so if you want to hang out I’m gonna smell bad and not look very cute. It may mean if you come over and play, as hard as I try, my house WON’T look like Pinterest puked organization in my house. In my few years of learning this, it is super humbling, but so freeing. STOP putting pressure on yourself to be perfect! You will fail! Work hard. Work to make your home run smoothly, however that looks for you, but don’t feel bad if that looks different than your friends or your pinterest page. Do your best, but don’t let the failures define you! 

Along with this “real” living I have been blessed with some amazing friends who I can call and either just talk about life and that this is hard or some that will come over take my kids, clean my house, or cook me food. This is ESSENTIAL in this survival. This season of raising a family is awesome. I think this is one of the hugest  parts of all of this. We, and right now in my life it’s moms, have to find friends or a community that supports us when we are falling. We have to stop living in this false reality and recognize when others are struggling. Inversely, we have to be able to call and say, “I’m struggling right now, I need help, and when you come and help I need to know that their won’t be any judgement.” I was telling a friend recently, maybe we need to make a code word for when we need reinforcements. If we surround ourselves with a community like this, with a support system like this I’m thinking our “facebook” reality will look a lot like our real reality. 

So, if you are at a place of brokeness and you feel like you are drowning, find a friend. If you don’t have one message me. I may not be close and can come grab your kids or make you dinner, but I can pray for you, I can talk and let you know you aren’t alone. Stop playing pretend and be real. 

confessions

Today we had our second class to become licensed to foster a child. I will not lie, they are kind of torterous. The class is from 6:30-9:30 every Monday night for 10 weeks. After a long day with kids (and Clay having a long day at work) neither of us are very enthusiastic to sit in a class for 3 hours.

Tonight at the end of class we watched a video...like a VHS video that you rewind. As you can imagine it was a bit dated. Ironically, in that very dated, kind of cheesy movie a tiny part spoke to me...deeply. Their was a scene with a mom who had been addicted to cocaine who had been clean for 8 months. She was talking in a support group about how the people that had fostered her children were a vital part in her recovery and ability to have her children returned to her. In that moment I realized something, in this journey we may not just be called to love, nurture, care and pray for a child, we may be called to do that for their parents also. This is hard.

I was a pediatric nurse at a very large children's hospital for 7 years. I saw things I wish I could forget. I saw children with wounds that were suffering pain that no child should suffer, especially at the hands of the people that should love them and care for them the most. I struggled to care for those children and to be objective while their parents stood beside me, all the while I was praying that child would never have to return back to the place where they were hurt. I cared for so many drug babies being weaned off of the awful drugs their mother took while she was pregnant with them. I held her screaming, writhing, unconsolable baby in the middle of the night because she could not see past her need for her next high. Why would I want to help these people get their children back? Because I would pray that if I ever find myself in a situation where I can't see past an uncontrollable need for something that will jeoproadize my children and their well being, that their would be someone who would not only care for my children while I couldn't, but that they would be my cheerleader to get me back in control of my life so that I can be the mother that I was made to be. I would pray if I am in a situation where my children aren't safe someone would take them, love them like their own, while I figure out how to provide my children with a safe home. In that moment, all of the parents of the children I have cared for, and will care for, became people, people I am called to pray for, people who I am called to serve, no matter the situation.

Now, don't get me wrong, I would NEVER want to be a part of putting a child back into a hopeless situation or back in a place that would cause them harm, but if part of this calling on our lives includes praying for these people we will do it. If the most loving thing we can do for everyone involved is to become a forever family for a child we will do it. If anything, tonight helped me to realize that this journey may include God using us in more than just the lives of the children that come through our home, but the lives of the parents of these children. This WILL get hard. We WILL want to quit and we may, but pray that we can be faithful and diligent to fulfill this call the Lord has placed on our life.

Let the games begin!

So, after much prayer, thought, discussions, and more prayer we have decided to be re-licensed to be foster parents. Yes, we know we are crazy. Yes, we know we already have a full plate. Yes, we know this is GOING to be hard. We have not come to this decision lightly. Let me explain how we came to this decision.

We were licensed in 2006 for a year. Long story short, this is a huge reason we were blessed with Cooper. What a treasure and joy he is to us. We feel like, though life is crazy with 4 kids 6 and under, the time is right for us to pursue this calling. We feel called to this mission field. We plan to foster as many children that need a home (1 child at a time) for as long as the Lord calls us to foster. If a child comes available for adoption and he or she is a good fit for our family, we will adopt again. We are not diluted to think that this will be easy. I'll be honest, when we were sitting in the first licensing class last night I had a wave (more like a hot flash) realizing the HUGE life change we are about to embark on. The realization that I am adding a lot of unknowns to my life. I'm about to disturb the routine and stability of my children's lives. Is this really what I want? Is this wise? When I waiver I will choose to trust that what God has called each of us to, He will provide the strength and patience for us to do it.

The more Clay and I prayed about this and thought about this decision the more I was reminded, this life is not meant to be "easy" or "comfortable." My parents used to tell me all the time, "to much is given much is required." I have been given immeasurably more than I deserve. I feel like this is my families calling. To minister to the hurting, broken, abandoned children. I want my children to embrace this mission. They will have to share their mommy and daddy with a child that they don't even know. I want them to learn now to love the "unlovable." I want them to learn that they have been called to serve and minister, even at six, four and two years old. They can do mighty things for the kingdom by loving on the children God has placed in our home, whether for a few days, months or years.

We beg for your prayers at this time. We are prepping for a big life change. We are terrified, but hopeful. Pray for the hearts of each child that will be in our home. Our prayer is that no matter how long they are with us they will be able to look back, even in the worst moments, and know that they are loved, not only by the people in this zoo, but by their Creator....So, let the games begin!

Ponderings

So, this may come as a shock, but this parenting thing is hard work! Lately, I've been thinking a lot about my children and entitlement. On one hand I LOVE to see my children happy. I LOVE watching them experience new things. I do NOT love watching my children turn into little spoiled, self serving, narcissistic, entitled little human beings. How do you find a balance between having fun and blessing your kids with an awesome childhood without turning them into little brats? I think and pray about this often. Growing up we didn't have tons of money. Somehow my parents did a great job of giving me an amazing childhood, but they also taught me that this world does not revolve around me (or any of my other siblings). I remember, vividly, my brother getting a pack of underwear (I think he was 5), he was SO excited...who gets excited about underwear? He did! He was so grateful and I remember watching my other siblings enjoy the moment with him. It's kind of a weird memory, but I love it because I think it paints a beautiful picture of thankfulness. Somehow my parents taught me to be servant hearted and to "think of others as more important than myself."One thing my parents did, intentional or not, was that when someone got something not everyone got something. I remember hearing my mom say if any of us were struggling with sitting empty handed "rejoice with those who rejoice." (Don't get me wrong, I fail at this every day...probably every minute!) At the time, in my ungrateful grumpy state, I thought "what the heck does that even mean!?!" Now I say it to my kids....I get it. My kids are so blessed, like ridiculously blessed, so, Clay and I are being intentional at "giving" our kids opportunities to be happy for their siblings when they don't get the same thing the other got. THIS IS HARD. Partly because I don't like to see my kids sad, on the other hand I hate seeing their wicked heart exposed, and boy does it get exposed! We are far from getting this right, but I pray each day that, by God's grace, my children will grow up to see beyond themselves and desire to serve and bless others. I pray that my children would learn to be kind and gentle hearted and be able to "rejoice with those who rejoice." As I write this I am convicted that I must be an example in my behavior. They must see me be grateful in my words and actions....The Nettles all have a lot of work to do =)

                                           My crazy kids at a recent disney trip....so blessed!

         Me with all my siblings the day abby was born....I LOVE being part of a big family.

She cray! All her loot from a recent shopping trip with Nina (Clay's mom).