So, I've started training for another half marathon....before you think I'm wonder woman, DON'T! I only run to eat =) I love to eat and the only way I've found, with our busy schedule, to stay in shape is to run...so, I run! This morning during my run I decided to forgo the trashy music I usually listen to (though it's not my taste all the time it sure helps because the beat helps me run at a more consistent pace) I decided to listen to a little Phil Whickam. It was a nice change.
Lately, mostly through homeschooling, I have realized that 1) I'm a closet control freak. I love to have control and order. 2) I care a lot about what people think of me. As I have embarked on this new journey I have to relinquish a lot of control (my days often don't go as planned) and I have to be comfortable with the choice Clay and I have made and not worry so much about what others think of me. God is gently reminding me that the only approval I should be working for is His. I love to make people happy, I love to serve, I love to have people think I have it all together, I love to have people like me...I love myself! As I was running this morning God gently reminded me that He chose me, before the foundations of the world, not as a woman who has it all together, but as the wretched, filthy, sinner that I am. He loved (loves) me when I don't have it all together, when my children are acting crazy, when my house is a mess, when I choose to "try" and control things and get angry when things don't go my way, when other people don't like me. I've been a Christian since I was 6, I know the story of salvation in my brain, but I often don't know it in my heart. I'm quick to forget...He loves me no matter what! I debated if my morning musings were bloggable (yes, I just made up that word =), but I figured maybe some people who read this need to be reminded of this just like I did. He chose you...He loves you, just the way you are! You don't have to have it all together, he still chooses you (mind boggling)! Maybe one day I won't forget this so easily!
