Stepping out of my comfort zone.

So, today I did something I swore I would NEVER do...I competed in my first crossfit competition. I cannot lie, it was HARD. Going in my goal was to not come in last....I came in 10th out of 19 (although their was a Hope Solo and Hellen Keller so it was probably out of 17, but who is splitting hairs here!) Apparently the way to get me to do things is to make me swear I never will, and then I will (hence a few half marathons and natural childbirth). As I was mentally preparing myself for this competition and struggling through the feelings of not wanting to look like a complete idiot and completely failing I had to do a little self reflection and self talk.

I HATE trying things if I know I won't be good at it. Having children has been the biggest push for me to analyze my behavior so that if their are things I need to work on, I work on. I want to be a mom that is an example to my kids. I want them to know that if they work hard they can do ANYTHING. They may not be the best at it, but they can be better than they were. I don't want what they "think" they can do to define them. I want them to embrace hard work. I want them to fight to be better at all they do. I can't hold them to that standard if I don't hold myself to that, so today I pulled a FREAKING car and about died doing 3 other WODS. Where did I observe people trying and failing and trying and failing and they still kept trying....my siblings.

I'm 1 of 5 kids. What some of you may not know is that 3 of my 5 siblings have some learning struggles. I grew up watching both my brothers and my younger sister struggle at most of the things they attempted. I watched them be made fun of because they were usually last or close to it. I watched them fight to learn and do things that came pretty naturally to me and my youngest sister.  You know what else I watched, I watched them try NO MATTER WHAT! They didn't let their learning struggles define them. They didn't let the scoffers deter them from at least trying. They are AMAZING! They go into each situation holding their head high, trying as hard as they humanly can and then, be proud of what they accomplished, but not only that, they are the most loyal and encouraging humans on the planet. If they are in your corner you will have a cheerleader for life. I want my kids to be just like them. I don't want them to be so prideful (like me) that they don't even try. I want them to set a goal and reach, no matter what! No matter if they are going to come in last....I want them to TRY. I don't want their circumstances to define them, I want them to define their circumstances, just like my siblings do!

Today I competed with my younger brother Adam. The first WOD he had never done a movement at the weight that was required. That didn't stop him....he muscled his way through and finished that WOD like a beast. The second WOD was a movement he could barely lift at 55 pounds that morning. We worked on it together for a while and he had a personal best of 85 pounds 3 times. He pulled a giant truck and pushed through one of the most challenging WODs I've done in a while. He may have came in last, but he is the very BEST in my book. Adam, you are my hero and I had so much fun with you today!

Now I am going to go pass out.