How the zookeeper keeps the zoo

I've been asked by a few people lately about "How you do it" with 5 kids. So, though I FAR from have this parenting thing down, I figured I'd share a few tips on how I juggle 5 kids in public. 

I think the most valuable thing I have gained being a mom of a lot of kids is to stop caring about what other people think of you. When I only had 2 or 3 kids I was always worried about people watching me and judging my parenting style. Once I had a couple more kids I realized people are going to judge or have their opinions no matter what. We literally get stared at wherever we go, good behavior, psycho behavior, cute baby, no shoe Jude, screeching…i mean singing BK, perfect obedience or tantrum throwing. It doesn't matter, we get stared at and hear all the comments all the time…"do you have a TV," "do you know how that happens," are they all yours," "are you catholic?" You name it, we've heard it! With all that said, we have all learned to laugh and keep walking. Let people think what they will, stop caring and enjoy your people. 

So a few tips for herding the humans in my zoo…

-I read a book a few years ago called "The Power of Positive Parenting." Game changer! One of the most valuable things I read in that book was something along the lines of, children are uncivilized creatures. They don't come out knowing social norms and acceptable behaviors. It's our job to teach them. If we constantly say no, they will know what NOT to do in that situation, but they will not necessarily learn what TO do in a situation. So, if you come hang out with me at any given time, before we get out of the car I will run through what I expect.  It will sound something like this. 
Mom "what kind of behavior do I expect?
kids "Good behavior."
Mom, "Are you going to yell in the store?"
Kids, "no."
Mom, "are you going to run away from me."
kids, "no"
Mom, "are you going to ask for things or whine?"
Kids, "no."
Depending on what we are doing I may add a few.

-Now, this little trick I learned from my momma. If my kids start acting crazy we LEAVE. Like walk away from your cart, gather psycho children and LEAVE the premisis! This may mean dry cereal for dinner or scavenging for leaves in the backyard because you left the toilet paper in the cart, but do it. I have done it once, now my kids know, they get crazy, we leave. One of my favorite things is hearing the older kids tell the younger ones when they start to feel the "urge to surge" "guys, mommy will leave and we won't get anything, don't be naughty!" 

-Now, inevitably someone is going to lose their sh*t at some point. ALWAYS. The key. Keep your cool. Though I may feel like I'm going to internally combust inside I use every shred of will power to keep my cool when my child is trying out for the exorcist in the middle of aisle 8. I try to calmly tell them that they have one opportunity to calm down and obey or we will leave. If they don't comply I pick their flailing, demon possessed self up, tell the other children to follow (to which no one tries anything crazy because they see the fire in my eyes) and we go to the car. Then once said demon child has calmed down, we talk through their psychosis, and whatever pre determined "discipline" was decided before we went into that poor establishment is, we carry out. JUST KEEP CALM. Don't give the judgers anything else to judge.

-Another little trick is sticker charts for the younger 
kiddos. I wrote a blog a while back about this. These work AMAZINGLY! Little ones tend to forget some of the expectations, so if you go through them and they have a goal to work towards it is golden. For some more detailed info on this you can look here. http://thenettleszoo.blogspot.com/2013/06/back-in-saddle-and-behavior-charts.html?m=1

-Since our little people have been really little we require that they either hold onto the stroller or cart or whatever human cargo carrier we are using. We don't chase kids. It's not a thing. If they run away, we leave. We really have never had much of an issue with this. I don't know if that's because we've done it since they were tiny or what. Our kids have probably figured out we don't chase people. If they want to run off, go…no one is following (stellar parenting for the win!). So now, especially at places like Disney it's not hard to keep tabs on everyone because everyone stays close.

-We also work REALLY hard at teaching our kids to think of others as more important than themselves. So, some people may get stuff sometimes and others don't. We have learned to prep the kids before if we know this scenario may happen, but even if we don't, this is life, you throw a fit, we leave. 

-Lastly, enjoy your little people. They are super cool and pretty fun. I have always parented with the philosophy that I want my children to be obedient and respectful, but I still want them to be kids. That means they are going to be weird and silly and say the most ridiculous things at the most embarrassing times, but thats ok. Enjoy this (I know this is easier said than done!). 

So, because I have put this out there, the next time I see any of you my kids will probably be acting crazy, I will be sweating, someone will be pooping and another will be without shoes, but hey, real life…Just know I'm not judging a one of you in this crazy thing called parenting….may the odds be ever in your favor.